Couples Counselling

Clients choose to come to work with me as a couple because I offer a safe, non judgemental, non ‘side taking’ approach to the entanglements in which couples often find themselves.  As an experienced couple counsellor, I am trained to look at the relationship as the client & how the couple relate to each other within their relationship. Demystifying the binds, squabbles, silences, withdrawals, arguments, anger , prejudices, jealousy, fears and struggling with feeling out of control, is all part of helping clients to understand themselves & each other within the relationship . The aim or hope – would be to enable the couple to find new ways to communicate with each other which comes from a greater understanding of themselves & each other & allows more freedom within the relationship.

Couples often struggle with out of control or confusing or frightening emotions, and by helping the couple to make sense of their feelings, they can regain control & enjoyment in their relationship.

I teach effective techniques & tools for understanding,  managing  & changing what does not work in the relationship,  to what is powerful, effective & works to help the couple regain an effective ( and loving)  relationship.

We are emotional beings and without an in depth understanding of the power of our emotions, and what our feelings really mean, and the clarity of thought to understand what our emotions are telling us, we can feel confused & bereft.  My aim is to help couples have a clearer insight into their relationship & to understand how such feelings as guilt, shame & hurt play out within the relationship.

Communication is a large part of all relationships & when couples begin to practice important new communication skills in their relationship, it transforms how they feel about themselves & each other.  We often confuse our love for another with our desire for their love and this can feel very confusing if the love is not reciprocated. Exploring this usually leads to greater understanding of our own & our partners needs & therefore how to respond to each other in different, perhaps more effective ways. 

Our loss of awareness in human relating can lead to a disconnection in connectedness and through couples counselling, I offer an opportunity for my clients to access the capacity to reconnect with each other in a more meaningful & deeply satisfying way.

I should add that this connectedness & understanding does not always mean that couples choose to stay together, it may mean that at the end of the day, couples may mutually decide to go their separate ways, but if this can be achieved in a calm, controlled & loving way, then they may be equipped to begin a new relationship from a less traumatised place.

 It can be very hard in a relationship when one person wishes to leave the relationship & the other wishes to stay. This is where truly delicate and  sensitive work is required to enable understanding and support for each wounded person.